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What is Arizona thinking in this moment? Curious what people's thoughts are...



Calzona

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( 34 comments — Leave a comment )
lucefan
May. 9th, 2014 08:10 pm (UTC)
Seems to me like she is thinking of having this baby for Callie but is definitely conflicted about it. I hope the writers don't rush it if that's the route they're going and make it a nice slow process next season.

Edited at 2014-05-09 08:12 pm (UTC)
awesome_rn
May. 9th, 2014 08:13 pm (UTC)
I think she is heartbroken because she feels like Callie is giving up on something, because Callie doesn't think she (Arizona) is strong enough to deal with what might happen.
sing_u_a_song
May. 9th, 2014 08:45 pm (UTC)
This. Arizona's challenge from the premiere was "can you be stronger" and the miscarriage is the final hurdle for her to overcome. In the finale I think she's going to do something to prove to Callie that it is something she truly wants, and should anything happen it won't break her (or them) again. That could be them making the decision to go to therapy together, but I also feel a recommitment to their marriage as well (as was foreshadowed in the premiere).
awesome_rn
May. 9th, 2014 09:01 pm (UTC)
Yes, this looks like Arizona hearing the call to be stronger as you say.
shigg
May. 9th, 2014 09:16 pm (UTC)
The parallels to S6 are really apparent. I think the 2 finales will be quite similar.
pasha2009
May. 9th, 2014 08:18 pm (UTC)
Something was off in the way A said it can be enough. And, C's that last sob before A says she loves her felt as much like a silent sorry. I think they will eventually figure out a way to have a kid; right now it will just be a matter of figuring out how they can be sad 'together' instead of alone and maybe C needs some reassurance.
I liked the acknowledgement that they are fragile, it was all very grounded and matured.
keebs26
May. 9th, 2014 09:49 pm (UTC)
"Something was off in the way A said it can be enough."

The way I read that, I think Arizona was as sad as Callie but she was trying to reassure Callie & be stronger in that moment. Callie said it in a questioning way & Arizona tried the reassuring tone but you could tell there was sadness still there.

Arizona's "I love you" could've been a silent sorry. But it also felt like "this is a hard time, but we'll get through it because I love you" I love you riddled with sadness.
withoutyoursmil
May. 9th, 2014 10:53 pm (UTC)
That whole scene was really reminiscent of 6x21 for me, especially in the way Callie said ILU and held onto Arizona.



And in that scene Arizona said, "I can't be the one that keeps you from having a baby." If they're looking to parallel, maybe she does decide she's ready to try again after all...
dadaliketostada
May. 10th, 2014 12:36 am (UTC)
That was the saddest 2 minutes on TV ever.
celticshocker
May. 10th, 2014 02:27 am (UTC)
Oh, I didn't think of that...very clever and they do love their parallels, so maybe!
carrie907
May. 10th, 2014 05:09 am (UTC)
i feel like this finale will mirror season 6 a lot. there will be an attack like there was in season 6 an of course baby talk for calzona . i think arizona will say something similiar to what she said in the 6 finale.

next season i hope we get a sinling for sofia, renewal of vows, therapy and sex

carrie907
May. 9th, 2014 08:21 pm (UTC)
Really hope they have another kid. Hope Arizona steps up somehow. Callie does so much.
Arizona's was amazing in the last scene. Lots of growth.
shigg
May. 9th, 2014 08:22 pm (UTC)
I think she is upset because Callie thinks they are fragile. I believe she wants to change Callies mind and show that she (and they) can get through anything now.
carrie907
May. 9th, 2014 08:23 pm (UTC)
Yes exactly. I hope Arizona proves to callie that they are stronger now
keebs26
May. 9th, 2014 08:53 pm (UTC)
I don't think she's upset that Callie thinks they're fragile. I think she knows that as well which is why she conceded pretty quickly when Callie told her she didn't want to put them in that situation. I think it was a smart decision on Callie's part for right now. I think Arizona's very capable of carrying, but she needs time to be 100% sure & convince Callie & it wasn't the right time last night. All it might take is a little Arizona speech. ;)
freebd99
May. 9th, 2014 08:42 pm (UTC)
I think the theme for them in S11 could be about "being stronger". It's certainly not healthy for Callie or Arizona to feel that they're not strong enough...yet to deal with another challenging situation.

Hopefully they'll hold on the baby route for now and explore other SL's that would show strength...

Edited at 2014-05-09 08:42 pm (UTC)
tweetums219
May. 10th, 2014 01:37 am (UTC)
The idea that it's not healthy for Callie and Arizona to feel that they're not strong enough is really interesting. What is unhealthy about it? Is it perpetually selling themselves short? Living in a place of fear? Are they, like Bailey in this episode, unable to see the bigger picture and instead focusing all of their energy on what they know is right (their marriage, their family, their life in this moment)?

Or is there also a healthy dose of self-awareness going on in this conversation? Of course Arizona is eager to try again-- she'll do anything for Callie. But is she really and truly that eager to do it for her own happiness as well as the overall happiness and wellbeing of her family, and is Callie stopping her for now because she knows the difference? They each seem to be hyper-aware of each other in this scene, and they begrudgingly acknowledge their fragility. Because aren't they still fragile? Not all of the wounds have scarred over, and they know it's dangerous to expose themselves before they've done the work necessary to heal what they need to. Putting a pin on their plans for the moment speaks to understanding that weakness and committing to becoming stronger-- strong enough.

Or perhaps it's a compromise of sorts between the two places?
cvgm
May. 10th, 2014 02:44 am (UTC)
I feel - after watching their scene many, many times - that the greatest thing Arizona can offer to Callie (and herself!) right now is therapy, not to carry their baby. I hope that's what she offers next week. I'd love for them to have a baby, especially because now it'd only be the two of them in the process of making such baby. But what a wonderful thing if what Arizona offers is the guarantee that they will get to a safe, happy, not-fragile place (unlike her speech in 10x13), that she'll try with all her heart and soul to prove Callie that they'll get to a place where they won't be afraid of having another crisis, because no matter what happens they'll be strong enough to face it together and she'll prove it with facts, not just words. And therapy is that first step to get to that ‘oh my God’ place, one where Callie won't feel the need to protect her/them from the unknown (10x24 title) and then they can have a baby. She also could say she’s in this for, well…forever, she’ll grow old with her, and needs/wants to watch those “ten” kids running around, but first they need to feel strong enough to get there. I’d seriously melt if that’s Arizona’s approach to this whole SL, next week. They skipped steps, and Shonda's Twitter Calzona Fest points in the direction of them waiting. But I see this as progress, actually. So much needed progress! That scene was heartbreakingly BEATIFUL.
carrie907
May. 10th, 2014 11:21 am (UTC)
this exactly . im hoping she offers therapy next week and renewal of vows before having another baby
freebd99
May. 10th, 2014 02:57 am (UTC)
"The idea that it's not healthy for Callie and Arizona to feel that they're not strong enough is really interesting......What is unhealthy about it? Is it perpetually selling themselves short? Living in a place of fear?......Or is there also a healthy dose of self-awareness going on in this conversation?"

- Yes it is interesting and the perspective I was coming from is a place of fear. It's one thing to feel like you're not ready because healing is a work in progress vs a feeling of what we have is all we'll ever have because of fear. It's interesting to see this level of vulnerability from Callie. I agree with you're previous post, she doesn't want to risk what she needs. I just find that very restrictive for both of them and will prevent them from fully realizing an even deeper relationship.

"But is she really and truly that eager to do it for her own happiness as well as the overall happiness and wellbeing of her family "

- Good question. Couldn't it also be acceptable for her to want to do this just for the sake of overall happiness. Would viewers be able to accept it if she choose to, just for Callie. I don't think she would love their child any less. I've been thinking of whether viewers could accept her taking that approach. I'm advocating one way or another, just exploring idea.

"Because aren't they still fragile? Not all of the wounds have scarred over, and they know it's dangerous to expose themselves before they've done the work necessary to heal what they need to. "

- This is why I absolutely love this moment because it's evident of the distance or lack of intimacy many have commented on.

Your tumblr post (my fav by the way), eloquently summarized how historically they've always been a physical couple. They often demonstrated a need to touch and be close to each other. The lack there of, this season, I have always felt was very purposeful and intentional in JCap and Sara's performances.

This moment, I hope is the start of both of them getting back to that level of intimacy again. I love that the process of healing continues. Yes, rings were exchanged and they've made love but the intent that everything isn't perfect again is great. It's real.

"Putting a pin on their plans for the moment speaks to understanding that weakness and committing to becoming stronger-- strong enough."

- Yes, only if the understanding of that weakness is not coming from a place of constant fear that the puzzle pieces will fall out of place again but rather that the process of healing takes time and that this is temporary and they would be able to find away to realize their shared desire.

Hope I'm making sense. :-)

Edited at 2014-05-10 03:24 pm (UTC)
tweetums219
May. 11th, 2014 08:36 am (UTC)
This all makes total sense to me (except maybe for the part about my tumblr post- it's not that great).

Fear. Yes, I think they're both terrified of putting sustained levels of negative emotion onto the foundation they've managed to unearth and resolidify. Are they really all that afraid of something going wrong again, though? Or are they afraid of something else? And while I think you're right here in believing that fear is preventing them from fully realizing the true depths of their relationship-- the centerpiece of this "beautiful life" that Callie says they already have-- I also wonder if it's possible for Callie and Arizona to instead use fear as motivation for growth.

It's one thing to feel like you're not ready because healing is a work in progress vs a feeling of what we have is all we'll ever have because of fear.

Very true. And in watching the scene several more times, I actually wonder if it's not a "vs." so much as it is just feeling both at the same time.

Callie and Arizona have spent this entire season clearing away the piles of debris to discover what the storm (S9) left intact-- the essential need of each other and their family. Now they're pulling things together to build on that foundation. What is worth risking? Is the potential for reward worth the risk? Is the foundation strong enough to withstand what they put on it? Of course, I think we know the answer to these questions (Yes, their future happiness is worth that risk. Yes, that "oh, my god" potential for reward is worth the risk, And yes, the foundation is strong enough.) They don't, though. Not yet.

I guess this is my roundabout way of wondering if their caution in taking a huge risk in the way they choose to expand their family is part of responsibly addressing that fear. And we know Callie and Arizona do not react well when they're afraid. Is acknowledging their current limitations more effective than reacting from their gut?

...it's evident of the distance or lack of intimacy many have commented on

To me, the scene is the opposite of this. There's no distance between them here, and I think it's painfully intimate. Callie's choosing to trust Arizona with this pain. She hasn't hidden it or tried to pretend like she's fine. She's choosing to trust that Arizona will know how to make it hurt a little bit less (because no matter what, Arizona can't make the pain disappear). Arizona's choosing to trust in Callie's acknowledgement of their fragility. She doesn't argue or say that she's wrong. She chooses to trust in the one thing she knows Callie needs to feel from (and hear) from her. (The element of choice is paramount in reclaiming the intimacy.)

I don't think Callie and Arizona are looking at the bigger picture, though. At least not yet. That may actually be what the fear is preventing them from doing.

Gosh, I really hope at least some of this makes sense at the late hour!
freebd99
May. 11th, 2014 01:55 pm (UTC)
"Or are they afraid of something else?"

- I've had this same thought as I recently rewatched S6. Shonda's comments about the S6 finale talk about Calzona's issue at that time are not really about babies, it was about their fears which they both finally expressed; Callie fearing she wasn't good enough and Arizona fearing that Callie really didn't love her. I wondered if something similar is happening here.

In 9x24 Callie said I "thought we were good and we got passed all the hard stuff" and she says almost the same thing in this scene "we just got good again". S9 vs now, given the word choice it suggests there is definitely more confidence in where they are now. So I don't think it's fear of the same (cheating) thing happening again but I wondered if they're still tackling the theme of Arizona being whole.

Its got to sting Arizona a little bit to consider that Callie doesn't seem at all fearful of the impact of whether she was able to carry the baby and and lose it, her comments come across as being directed at Arizona. It suggest that had Callie been able to get pregnant and for some reason lose the baby they wouldn't crumble. "Be stronger" echo's in my brain so much when I think of both of them.

The fact that we saw so much indecision from Arizona in 10x20 to go along with her "I could..I could carry the baby" now, naturally makes Callie weary about Arizona taking that "risk".

If they are still in fact tackling the "wholeness" theme, what I love about this situation is that it's not just about adding to their family. Sure they could adopt or have a surrogate but rather it's about Arizona being able to bear a child they both really really want, albeit for different reasons.

" I also wonder if it's possible for Callie and Arizona to instead use fear as motivation for growth."

- Yes absolutely but only if they are both able to fully express and understand their fears.

"To me, the scene is the opposite of this. There's no distance between them here, and I think it's painfully intimate...."

- Yes we are completely aligned. I think my comments were not clear. The reason I referred to your tumblr post expressing that Calzona have always been a "physically expressive" couple was due to the fact that in this scene I felt they were showing that kind of physical intimacy again.

The lack of intimacy comments were about prior episodes. While they've had some moments since 10x9 but nothing we've seen this season has been as intimate as this scene. As I said before, the level of vulnerability Callie shows Arizona here is interesting and I love it. She absolutely feels comfortable enough to as you say "trust" her with that pain.

"She doesn't argue or say that she's wrong. She chooses to trust in the one thing she knows Callie needs to feel from (and hear) from her. (The element of choice is paramount in reclaiming the intimacy.)"

- Yes she doesn't argue or say that she's wrong and chooses in that moment to comfort her wife physically and verbally but that look Arizona has when they embrace I think may be about what I said at the start of this reply re wholeness.

Your comments always make sense. :)


Edited at 2014-05-11 03:12 pm (UTC)
keebs26
May. 9th, 2014 08:48 pm (UTC)
I just think she's sad for them & sad for Callie. They made a plan & were on the same page & that plan backfired. She went from picking out names to basically declaring Sofia's enough because of bad news. Callie looked heartbroken when Callie said "that can be enough" & then Arizona had to repeat it to make Callie believe it could be enough. Just because something can be enough doesn't make that need or want go away & I think Arizona really wanted this baby just as much as Callie. I wouldn't be surprised if it was Arizona who brought it up again during the finale. If she thinks she can carry she needs to really make Callie hear it or she'll tell them they can go a different route. They both truly want it, so they shouldn't give up so easily & I don't think they will.
carrie907
May. 9th, 2014 08:59 pm (UTC)
I think Arizona will say something. I want Sofia to have a sibling
keebs26
May. 9th, 2014 09:06 pm (UTC)
I'll be surprised if she doesn't say anything & a little let down. And I also want Sofia to have a sibling. I don't think I could have made it being an only child. I have 4 sisters & I couldn't imagine not having them. Not saying a brother/sister relationship isn't special, but there's something really special about sisters relationships. Not to mention, I've always pictured Calzona with girls, so I've always wanted Sofia to have a little sister.
cycworker
May. 9th, 2014 09:23 pm (UTC)
I like the idea that there was a silent 'I'm sorry.' I think there are many ways to interpret that. They never really did much re: Arizona feeling guilty about the crash....it was very much 'a truck came out of nowhere." I'm not saying that Arizona didn't blame herself for it, nor am I saying she should beat herself up over it. My only point is it wasn't an aspect of the story they put much emphasis on. Mark blamed Arizona, but we were meant to see him as the bad guy (finally!) in that episode.

What I find interesting is that now they have a vehicle (oh gawd, forgive the pun!) to explore their past. They can go back and address demons that they ignored as they just dove head first into getting married. I remember when Sara did that HuffPo article at the beginning of S9, I said, 'Hmm... I wonder if they're going to deconstruct them enough to go back and talk about Africa, the crash, all of the stuff they got through too quickly. Others thought I was wrong, that it was too late, as there was no way to get them to go back that far into their history. Now, it seems the mechanism exists.

I find it really interesting that in the Twitter convos she engaged in this spring, Shonda didn't kill our hopes for therapy. Obviously, I'm not 100% sure they'll go, but I am more confident than I was at one point that it's on the table as a possibility for next season. How many sessions we'd actually see, I don't know. For the sake of Drama! and Thrills! I do foresee a scenario where one (Arizona, I imagine) snuck off to therapy without actually telling the other, thus leading to cheating fears.

I just hope to GOD if they do give us scene(s) of them with a therapist, they write the therapist better than they did for those Cristina/Owen scenes. I know they can, because they did when Meredith attended therapy. Good therapists challenge their clients! They don't just ignore it when their clients make condescending remarks like Owen and his, "You'll understand when you grow up," crap. Sorry, off topic. It just still bugs me to no end.

There is a potential for really good, quality adult scenes here. Under Phelan and Rater, I wouldn't have much hope we'd such a story. But now that McKee and Harper will be running Season 11? I feel very confident we'll get quality storytelling.
funkyshaz57
May. 10th, 2014 01:17 am (UTC)
They never really did much re: Arizona feeling guilty about the crash

This always bothered me, that people thought she may need to feel guilty, I'm sure she did but i never felt that she had anything to feel guilty about,, she nearly lost Callie and her unborn child, had Mark disrespecting her and she stayed strong throughout - it was simply an accident while it sucks that Callie can't bear children from that the idea that there was a silent sorry because she may possibly for guilty for the fact that Callie can't bear children doesn't settle well with me. Being sorry in general because her wife just got devastating news yes but not the other
cycworker
May. 11th, 2014 07:26 am (UTC)
Don't get me wrong... I agree with you. Arizona shouldn't blame herself. It was an accident. Even to the extent she wasn't watching the road, well... it happens. And Callie wasn't wearing a seat belt. So I don't blame Arizona or think she should blame herself. I'm saying I'm surprised that at the time of the accident/the episode after, the writers didn't have Arizona, who is very Type A, blame herself more readily.
funkyshaz57
May. 11th, 2014 09:24 am (UTC)
Even to the extent she wasn't watching the road, well... it happens

Doesn't sound like you're too sure, which is fine I get some people blame her I just don't. Callie never did, not even Mark so I never get how people get so cranky and blame her for it - accidents are accidents for a reason
cath_90
May. 9th, 2014 10:35 pm (UTC)
Hmm,I think she's thinking that this isn't really enough for Callie.She knows Callie,she knows what she wants and understands that this is just a compromise from Callie's side. Maybe she starts thinking of ways to make this happen :)

p.s. it's been so long since the last time i wrote here,i really missed talking about each grey's episode and writing in this community.there I said it :)
freebd99
May. 10th, 2014 03:17 pm (UTC)
"p.s. it's been so long since the last time i wrote here,i really missed talking about each grey's episode and writing in this community.there I said it :)"

- Welcome back! :-)
Lots of interesting stuff happening to our girls worth talking about.
jodief1
May. 10th, 2014 12:53 am (UTC)
I loved this scene because I think AZ is processing a million things at this moment. She puts on a brave face for Callie, but when she knows she can't be seen, the vulnerability comes through. Mostly I think she's scared because now she feels an obligation to carry their next child but was burned by the miscarriage and is, like Callie, concerned about tipping the boat again.

IMHO it might be interesting to have Calzona revisit some past decisions/feelings in s11, but only in a therapeutic context. I would hate to see them continue to struggle with one another without any help whatsoever from anyone AGAIN. I don't care about Shonda's (and JCap's) "drama" mantra: to me, that would just be rehashing the past few seasons instead of moving on to something fresh and new. I think there's a lot of interesting drama to be had when two people are moving from the "new" love stage to a longer-term commitment. MerDer certainly have had their share of drama without having the relationship itself on the line for several seasons now.

And don't get me started on the fact that it appears we'll never see Calzona doing more than light kissing EVER AGAIN. Those fully-clothed, prim bed scenes do not exactly remind us of why these two women are trying so hard to make their relationship work.
Robbins Torres
May. 10th, 2014 02:27 pm (UTC)
My thoughts about Arizona's look are the following:
1) Arizona may feel so deeply concerned because she wanted as much as Callie to have another baby. (choosing names, scheduling pregnancy, etc...)
2) In her eyes, we can see sadness but also fear because as Callie said to her if she tried to get pregnant again, she might miscarry and their couple may not overcome it.
3) We have noticed that Arizona stood as a good man in this storm in front of Callie because her wife needed a support, but we all know and Callie even knows how much Arizona is vulnerable, that's why she refused her offer.
4) I think that this baby talk isn't over again and this look is foreshadowing what Arizona might do maybe in the finale or next season which is convincing Callie that she is strong enough and she can carry their child .
jenrind
May. 12th, 2014 02:22 am (UTC)
Arizona offered to carry their baby, but she didn't sound very sure to me. She wants a baby, but she's scared. However, Callie's suggestion that they couldn't survive another loss is pretty harsh.

My dream is that they decide to do the work to become strong enough together to take this risk knowing that they are unbreakable.
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